I might be scarring my child

Let me first say how I am loving age 3. Oh my gosh, I have belly laughs daily from the things Macie says. She is so inquisitive, and the way things come out of her mouth. It's so funny!

And then, let me say how challenged I am. She is strong-willed as ever, but now has selective hearing, and deliberately naughtiness - this is tough stuff! She isn't scared of "consequinces" any more. She is heavy and I'm pregnant and I can't scoop her up like I used to in a moment's notice. She tests boundaries daily, pushes buttons - talk about rollar coasters of emotions! In the same hour, I can feel elated, happy, and more in love with this child than I never knew possible, and in the same hour I can be downright furious.

One thing I have figured out though...While Macie is not even phased of the possibility of me being mad at her, or even her dad, she does NOT want anyone else to be mad at her. This might explain why Ms. Sabrina says Macie is an angel at school.

So.... I have a new trick. And I can only hope it doesn't scar her for life. Now, when in public situations, I pick a random employee of the business, and use them. I tell Macie that if she doesn't stay by my side, behave, listen, etc. that guy will get mad at her. Oh my gosh, this works like a charm! She does NOT want that guy coming anywhere near her, and she is sure to be on her BEST behavior. How long will this trick last? I have no idea. And more importantly, is this going to be pivotal in her emotional development? (PLEASE tell me no!)

These days, I feel like I am living parallel lives. I live my life as an adult and I'm also re-living my own childhood through Macie's eyes. I've LEARNED two things:

1) Most people are normal - until you get to know them.

2) Adults tend to blame their current crazies on their childhood.

And no matter how picture perfect a childhood, there is always something. The Octomom was on Oprah and says that she made the irrational decision of having 14 CHILDREN to compensate for the fact that she was an only child. WOW! Who knew being an only child would cause that effect. I think it was that next week we got pregnant as to ensure Macie had a sibling :-).

This puts an enormous amount of pressure on me as a MOM! What am I doing now that she will one day blame me for? Scary. Oh it is.

So, as far as my trick at the store is concerned, for now I will keep it. Because it keeps me sane (what if I TOTALLY lose it, have a mental break-down right in the middle of Kroger? That might scar the child) and having a well-behaved child at the mall, home-depot, Kroger - it makes the shopping experience nice. And maybe I will have to pay Macie's therapy bills later.